THE RAGING DEMON FROM WITHIN

“I know I am brilliant! I left secondary school as one of the best; university can’t be that difficult.” That was what I thought; the stark reality was that I knew nothing. Never in my life had I ever felt so dumb. I thought it was because I was new here; it was my first week, but it lasted for months. Then it happened, oh God how I prayed for it to leave. I don’t know how it crept into my life; life felt hellish. The anxiety didn’t happen overnight. I guess it must have been building up slowly. I didn’t take my time to learn that this isn’t my previous life where I had easy access to my teachers and enough free time to study. I would pick up my textbook to read, it would creep in; fear was holding me back to the situation that I became anxious whenever I wanted to read my books. The issue got so bad that I disliked a subject I once loved passionately in secondary school. I had to reach out for help; I was dying on the inside. I contacted a trusted friend, and she said, “To take things easy!” It sounded off in my ears because I wondered how I would relax when anxiety could rush like a mighty storm over me. She then told me, “Talk to God!” I did not even think about Him. I was lost in myself that I did not remember he was always there. I realized I hadn’t been talking; I talked. Things did not just change overnight. I was still battling, but as the days went on, I realized I had peace that I could not explain. I also noticed that my negative mindset became more positive. Eventually, I sat for the first semester exams. I passed beyond my expectations. It does come back occasionally, but I know that in the end, I will be fine. If you’re in such situation please speak to a trusted person for help. Please speak to a trusted person for help if you’re in such situation.

If you are battling such issues, please reach out for help don’t die with the pain!